Keon Kobra's Movie Review Strike!

This movie is the most comic book movie ever, the most Marvel Comics movie of all time, a cinematic event!  It has so many characters split into at least three groups accomplishing goals all over the universe. The fight scenes are epic and relentless, the quips are directed squarely at adolescent brains, and we all have one of those. The enormous scale, the soap opera elements, the cliffhanger elements, all there. If you grew up reading Marvel comic books, then everything you remember dreaming about while reading comics and thinking what an amazing movie these stories would make is all here on screen. This movie isn't trying to win an academy award, its trying to win a no-prize. You can't look at this movie with the same expectations as other movies, if you applied the same conventions you would find faults, relationships under developed, things that don't make sense, but this is actually a genre defining movie, all built on what came before, its THE Marvel movie and

A slumber inducing non violent brodown about two authors of The Bible. I saw Passion of the Christ years ago on a row of TVs at a bar in San Francisco late with the sound off and subtitles on, and loud rock music playing. It still connected cinematically and even contextually slightly displaced, I thought it was a tremendous movie watching experience. This is no Passion of the Christ. The flick opened strong Jim Caviezel plays Luke dodging the roman popo in the era of Nero. It ushered the viewer into the mean streets of Roma, Christian corpses burned in the streets, Danger for the fledgling cult being persecuted. Any time a movie can pull you into a bygone historical era its a good sign. And the stuff early Christians had to deal with is rife with interesting conflict, stuff that might be well and truly interesting portrayed onscreen but in this turkey all that crap happens offscreen so they talk about what persecution is, rape, murder, being murdered by gladiators, in the Circ

I would never pay money to see something like this. Not voluntarily. It might be totally awesome to a majority of people but I have a bit of a confession to make to you guys. Blockers is Total Shit. Avoid! I didn't like Something About Mary. I didn't like 40 year old virgin, not really anyway. I pretended to for a couple minutes after seeing it to make the people I saw it with happy.  I didn't like Superbad. I didn't like The Hangover. I didn't like Bridesmaids. I haven't liked any Melissa McCarthy movie yet. Grossout comedies?  I like County Fair comedians more. Grossout Romantic Comedies? I would prefer a county fair ventriloquist. While I will admit that I do think gross out gags are cheap, lowest common denominator humor, that's never what really bothers me. There is something else that irks me, about these movies, and that is that these stories kind of serve as models for and about the type of people we can be. The type of

It has been a rough week for me. Monday my boss called me in for a 90 day review and told me he was not impressed with my experience and not happy with my work. If things didn't improve soon I was going to be fired. There was a knot in my stomach after that. The next day I sold a bunch. Then Wednesday only 1. I wasn't happy with the job either, and the boss' hands off - figure it out yourself, call the supportline and stop bothering me, I'm leaving early again, training style. I am an auditory learner and I need to hear other people say things out loud in order to pick up the right way to do things, and even when I have a decent idea of how to do something I sometimes need to ask a question out loud, or at least say something out loud, just to get my gears turning. Preferably to a human being, and sometimes I even need to make a joke about something to relate to it enough to remember it. And I also like confirmation, like when I complete something, I like a sound or

I am someone who appreciates Guillermo del Toro as a director and as a creative powerhouse. I like his highly original and outlandish demonic creature films, his personal and genuine riffs on gothic horror, his popcorn actioners, I have been a big fan of most, if not all of it. So I wanted to see this movie when I first heard about it, I would have seen it in the theater earlier if I wasn't languishing in money worry. It looked like a stand alone Abe Sapien movie, who was the aquatic creature sidekick  from Hellboy, a character and movie I liked a lot. Then it won the Academy Award for Best Picture. And I was like ok, how does that happen? comic book movies don't usually win Academy Awards, neither do monster movies, this must have something really special going for it. I need to see this movie. I can't wait to see this one. I watched it at the dollar theater in its first Friday there. I didn't connect with it at all. By the end I felt like I had been slapped across

I got a two for one Jumbo Jack at Jack in the Crack for filling out an online survey on my phone and killed time reading the opening Chapter of Bob Dylan's autobiography at the last remaining Barnes and Noble's in my world. Then as I walked across the parking lot to the dollar cinema in the sunny evening drizzle I saw a rainbow. There's a pot o gold somewhere in yonder Burlington Coat Factory! I just know it! Annihilation, I'm pretty sure I saw this advertised on some streaming service already, its in its last days at the movie theaters. I am going to start with my verdict and warn of possible spoilers further into the review, cause its hard to discuss without getting down to plot as its a movie that relies on the reveal. Its a type of movie I like. I would say if  you like this type of movie just go ahead and buy it. Its Natalie Portman, and Jennifer Jason Leigh leading a badass all female squad of military scientists through a mysterious zone.  If you

Its the second day with the Movie pass. I was like fuck yeah lets keep it rolling with the Movies! Get my moneys worth and then some asap, you know what I'm saying? So I didn't even stop at home first I went directly from work to the movies by my place. The 5:25pm showing of Ready Player One. I have been using my Regal Card when buying these tickets with the movie pass. I knew I had enough points for a free popcorn. The girls who work concession at the movies by my place are goddess gorgeous. Always a gentleman I stay respectful, look I understand my current state of existence is not ideal, the wheels are turning that I need take better care of myself lose weight, work out and take bigger risks socially, bigger than going to the fucking movies, but after work most of the time I don't want to do shit, so at least I'm not doing that. Now that I have this movie pass I have zero incentive to save my regal card points for movies, and I know I'm not going to eat r